Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I Lost the Battle. I Didn’t Lose the War.
Everyone gets hurt. We get hurt on the playground when we fall from the swing. We get hurt in first grade when the older students kick us out from the line for lunch. We get hurt when our first love breaks our heart. We get hurt when we lose a friend for the first time. We get hurt after the first serious argument with our parents. We get hurt when we realize that life is not a clean slate.
Why? Why do we allow all those feelings to oppress our common sense? We let ourselves soak into the misery and we forget that tomorrow always come, and if we are not up to wait for it, no one will ever be.
Recently I got hurt. I let myself soak into the perfect world I tried to built, and someone step on it. Brutally. Destructively.
After all the pain I have had, I did not feel anything at all. I dropped a tear for my own foolishness, and I realized: That is just a battle. It is not the war. So I got my head up, and realized that if I am impressed with all the bad feelings, I will not have the time to experience the good ones. I would not be able to see the little things that make me smile: a bird, the sunrise, the stars, the autumn trees. I realized how much more I have to learn in order to be able to understand myself completely, and to feel grown-up. I realized that I am still able to see a boa-constrictor, instead of a hat like the Little Prince did. Life is full of battles, so we should not give up, if we are not the winners always. We should keep our heads up and just move on. People who soak too much into the sadness forget to live. It is just how it is.
After all, everyone gets happy. We get happy when mommy buys us ice-cream. We get happy when we receive our first six in school. We get happy when we hear the dreamed question “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”. We get happy when we go to the cinema with our best friends. We get happy when we hear our parents say “I am proud of you.” We get happy when we realize that life is what we make it, so we should make it our own fairytale.