Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I enjoyed the creating of an electronic portfolio. In the beginning it seemed to be hard. There were so many things that we had to post on our blog but actually throughout the semester I realized that I could balance them perfectly along with my other assignments in IB English. I liked the assignment because it gave me field to write and express myself. I enjoy writing and when I am inspired I can do it just for fun. The blog gave me this opportunity because the topics were not too strict and they gave me space to show creativity and imagination.
The exchange with the Kentucky partners was not very successful because of technical reasons, but I enjoyed reading my classmates work. I believe that everyone had the opportunity to create in their own way. We have never had that opportunity in the years. This gave to me self confidence and made me feel like a adult, who is mature enough to express their own opinion on the topics that interest him.
The portfolio was a very nice experience for me. I am actually a bit sad because now when I feel inspired I will have the opportunity to write but I am not sure someone will read my work. My dream is to become a writer. I will continue to write in my blog. Who knows? When you believe in something destiny finds a way to make it happens.
When the clock pointed 00:00 on the 31st of December my first thought was “I am graduating this year! ”. I looked at all my friends. They were so happy. I was a bit sad and happy. The most careless and funny years of my life are coming to an end. Soon I will be nineteen, and here it comes 20. I will not be a teenager anymore. I will be an adult.
I am wondering how I changed for the past 5 years.
In 8th grade I was excited about everything. I was in a new school, which meant that I had so many new horizons to explore. I remember my Friday afternoons. I was always waiting for them. This had not change even nowadays. During this time of the week, I was staring at my first love and I was dreaming of a “happily ever after” ending. I found the most awesome friends in the whole world. We are still together. I remember all the drama and I smile because none of it matters now.
Then 9th grade came. This was my worst year in high school. I had family problems and the logical thing to do for me was to rebel. I remember myself sitting somewhere all alone and listening to loud music. This was the year that taught me how much more important things there are in life than the teenage drama. I felt stronger and more mature in the beginning of the next school year.
10th grade was the time of high school that I never want to go back to. This was the year when I realized what is to be in love. I remember this period with a lot of tears. Now I smile I think of it. I learned to think of the good times, and especially of the butterflies I had in my stomach when I saw His eyes.
11th grade was the time when I became independent. I learned a lot about people, and I realized who is going to be by my side always, and who is going to be just another station of the train of life. I learned how important is for one to believe in himself, and I learned how to control my emotions.
Here it comes 12th grade. By this point I am admitted in a university, I am having amazing time with my friends, and my really experiencing the feeling of being a Senior. I can look back to my past and see its traces in my life nowadays, and I am proud of it.
My 5 years of high school could have been better but I do not wish for it. I am satisfied with the person I became. I love my friends, and I believe all of this will help me to love my future!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Everyone gets hurt. We get hurt on the playground when we fall from the swing. We get hurt in first grade when the older students kick us out from the line for lunch. We get hurt when our first love breaks our heart. We get hurt when we lose a friend for the first time. We get hurt after the first serious argument with our parents. We get hurt when we realize that life is not a clean slate.
Why? Why do we allow all those feelings to oppress our common sense? We let ourselves soak into the misery and we forget that tomorrow always come, and if we are not up to wait for it, no one will ever be.
Recently I got hurt. I let myself soak into the perfect world I tried to built, and someone step on it. Brutally. Destructively.
After all the pain I have had, I did not feel anything at all. I dropped a tear for my own foolishness, and I realized: That is just a battle. It is not the war. So I got my head up, and realized that if I am impressed with all the bad feelings, I will not have the time to experience the good ones. I would not be able to see the little things that make me smile: a bird, the sunrise, the stars, the autumn trees. I realized how much more I have to learn in order to be able to understand myself completely, and to feel grown-up. I realized that I am still able to see a boa-constrictor, instead of a hat like the Little Prince did. Life is full of battles, so we should not give up, if we are not the winners always. We should keep our heads up and just move on. People who soak too much into the sadness forget to live. It is just how it is.
After all, everyone gets happy. We get happy when mommy buys us ice-cream. We get happy when we receive our first six in school. We get happy when we hear the dreamed question “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”. We get happy when we go to the cinema with our best friends. We get happy when we hear our parents say “I am proud of you.” We get happy when we realize that life is what we make it, so we should make it our own fairytale.
Act V, Scene ii, Lines 1-24
It is the cause, it is the cause, my soul,--
Let me not name it to you, you chaste stars!--
It is the cause. Yet I'll not shed her blood;
Nor scar that whiter skin of hers than snow,
And smooth as monumental alabaster.
Yet she must die, else she'll betray more men.
Put out the light, and then put out the light:
If I quench thee, thou flaming minister,
I can again thy former light restore,
Should I repent me: but once put out thy light,
Thou cunning'st pattern of excelling nature,
I know not where is that Promethean heat
That can thy light relume. When I have pluck'd the rose,
I cannot give it vital growth again.
It must needs wither: I'll smell it on the tree.
Ah balmy breath, that dost almost persuade
Justice to break her sword! One more, one more.
Be thus when thou art dead, and I will kill thee,
And love thee after. One more, and this the last:
So sweet was ne'er so fatal. I must weep,
But they are cruel tears: this sorrow's heavenly;
It strikes where it doth love. She wakes.
Love is one of the dreams that most people have. They dream of perfection, of shared emotions and feelings, of that perfect significant other, who understands their thoughts just with a look in their eyes. Everyone dreams of this, and no one considers the idea that sometimes it cannot happen. Life is not blissful to all. It plays its games and sometimes love can not conquer all. William Shakespeare’s play Othello is a perfect example of how circumstances can turn the happy ending into a tragedy. The main character Othello is misguided by his trust into people, which makes him murder his beloved one. The monologue of Othello in Scene 2 of Act 5 reveals his inner conflict and his love for Desdemona, which are scarred by intrigue, lies and manipulation.
The Shakespearean style of writing supposes a deep meaning behind the words. Othello describes Desdemona using similes: “…whiter skin of hers than snow / And smooth as monumental alabaster.”(V.ii.4-5) The image of the sleeping Desdemona is similar to the childish idea of the sleeping beauty. Her description presents peace and calm. The symbol of snow is connected with innocence, which shows the irony in Othello’s doubts in Desdemona. The life of Desdemona is compared to a rose:
“When I have plucked
I cannot give it vital growth again.
It needs must wither.”(V.ii.13-15)
The metaphorical meaning of the quote shows the affection of Othello towards Desdemona. She is compared to a flower: discrete and gentle, guilty for being so beautiful. The symbol of the rose has a biblical reference: the Holy Grail. It gives life, and presents a meaning in the life of every Christian. This is the meaning of Desdemona for Othello’s life: she is everything he lives for. Her loss is equal to the loss of life itself. He speaks of her gently and with great attention. The fact that he watches her while she sleeps is significant: it presents a desire to see her and connect her for the last time, and in the same time presents the doubt that has nested in Othello’s heart.
Othello is full of doubt. The actual function of the monologue in the sense of the whole play is to present the inner conflict, which Othello fights. He loves Desdemona, but his honor id too hurt by the idea that he has shared her with another man. He loves her and he will continue to love her even in her death:
“Be thus when thou art dead, and I will kill thee
And love her after. One more, and
The idea of the last kiss could be connected with another Shakespearean play: Romeo and Juliet. The young Romeo kisses Juliet and dies next to her. In the same way Othello gives his beloved one last kiss, before his own demons posses him.
Othello is similar to Romeo and Juliet in another aspect: the idea of destiny and its games with people’s lives. Romeo and Juliet are referred to as “star-cross’d lovers”. The destiny plays its games, and ironically the lovers are together in Heaven. Othello loves Desdemona insanely. It is like pain to him:
“But they are cruel tears. This sorrow’s heavenly:
It strikes where it doth love. (V.ii.23-24)”
He desires to revenge his honor, and in the same way he wants to be with his love. Destiny plays its game in the same way, as in the other play: Desdemona drops her napkin, and no one sees it. Othello hears a conversation that has nothing to do with Desdemona, but Iago makes him believe otherwise. The “star cross’d lovers” in Othello are not even given a chance to realize how strong their love is. Pride and honor blind Othello’s heart. Lies, intrigue and manipulation completely destroy his ability to see clearly how much Desdemona loves him, but anyway he makes his redemption in her last sleep, when she is beautiful, calm and blessed by her innocence.
Othello presents a man, who betrays his own love, because of doubt, but in the same time he presents one man who is scared of his own actions. He realizes that by killing Desdemona, he will kill his own desire to live. The monologue in the beginning of Scene 2 of Act 5 shows exactly how much Othello loves Desdemona: for a lifetime and after that. The reader realizes also how much Othello’s heart had been poisoned by all the lies around him. Love is not always just to everyone: sometimes it is cruel, and hurts, but people should trust this pain: it is the only thing that can make them open their eyes.