I Lost the Battle. I Didn’t Lose the War.

Everyone gets hurt. We get hurt on the playground when we fall from the swing. We get hurt in first grade when the older students kick us out from the line for lunch. We get hurt when our first love breaks our heart. We get hurt when we lose a friend for the first time. We get hurt after the first serious argument with our parents. We get hurt when we realize that life is not a clean slate.
Why? Why do we allow all those feelings to oppress our common sense? We let ourselves soak into the misery and we forget that tomorrow always come, and if we are not up to wait for it, no one will ever be.
Recently I got hurt. I let myself soak into the perfect world I tried to built, and someone step on it. Brutally. Destructively.
After all the pain I have had, I did not feel anything at all. I dropped a tear for my own foolishness, and I realized: That is just a battle. It is not the war. So I got my head up, and realized that if I am impressed with all the bad feelings, I will not have the time to experience the good ones. I would not be able to see the little things that make me smile: a bird, the sunrise, the stars, the autumn trees. I realized how much more I have to learn in order to be able to understand myself completely, and to feel grown-up. I realized that I am still able to see a boa-constrictor, instead of a hat like the Little Prince did. Life is full of battles, so we should not give up, if we are not the winners always. We should keep our heads up and just move on. People who soak too much into the sadness forget to live. It is just how it is.
After all, everyone gets happy. We get happy when mommy buys us ice-cream. We get happy when we receive our first six in school. We get happy when we hear the dreamed question “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”. We get happy when we go to the cinema with our best friends. We get happy when we hear our parents say “I am proud of you.” We get happy when we realize that life is what we make it, so we should make it our own fairytale.

Hide and Seek: A Childish Game or a Lifestyle?

A few weeks ago I was staring outside the window, and I saw a few kids playing hide and seek. Each and every one of us has participated in this game: someone counts to ten, the others hide and the person is left alone looking for them. I couldn’t help it wonder: is this game left as a happy memory in the past, or are we still playing it in the future? People build illusions, create images, and put together sand castles of qualities and characteristics just to produce the perfect person for the others to see. Suddenly, all of us are left outside this shell, searching for the person, hidden somewhere deep inside.
I have always wondered how a movie star feels. I wonder how it feels to see your picture everywhere, and to be photographed when you go to the shop to buy breakfast. The image of these people is created for them. They present a certain face in front of the general public, and their personal life remains a secret. The sad part is that people are most curious of the things they do not know. Another sad fact is that people are extremely judgmental. Everyone starts digging into the intimate worlds of their idols, and judge them basing on pictures without any value, or on writings that are left without no soul because of the giant corporate machine that desires money.
So even if we keep on playing hide and seek, we definitely do not do it right. We tend to find out inexistent things, just because we do not want to be the seeker. People are consumed by their ego, which makes them believe that they are perfect. Actually, perfection is just an illusion. There is no perfect person. Everyone has their fails and liabilities. This is the most important part of the character, because it is the one common for all people.
One morning, I might open my eyes and realize that I have gotten lost in my search for humanity. One day I might wake up and realize that all the people around me are empty shells with no souls. One day I might be one of the hiding people, and be afraid of seeking. One day, but not today… Actually not tomorrow either. I still hope, and still search, because deep down under the cover, I might find an actual human being.

Happy Endings: Why They Don't Happen?

The childhood of everybody is full of stories with a happy end. They happened to appear in the all time favorite fairytales. Cinderella put on the glass slipper and married the prince. Snow White incidentally spit out the poisonous apple and lived happily ever after with prince Charming. What if there was another girl with small size that matched Cinderella’s foot? Or maybe Snow White did not fall dead because she choked and she was really food poisoned? This is where real life happens. People become so cynical and distant from the happy endings that they forget to try and fight for them. I couldn't help it wonder: how are happy endings supposed to happen if people never do the grand gestures?

I have always admired people that are able to apologize. I really believe in the power of the simple “I am sorry.” It has the power to open the doors of most people’s hearts. Recently I met the person that rocked my little perfect world of happy people that received apologies and lived happily ever after. I have to admit that I hurt him. The sentence is: GUILTY. I know people that make grand surprises, nice gestures, and everything possible to get mercy. I just apologized but not once or twice! Yet, my success seems to disappear like the Fairy Godmother.

Yesterday I had an epiphany. How am I supposed to be forgiven if I am so proud and scared of doing something meaningful for a person, who means that much for me? In the world where romance sounds cliché, love is an illusion, and physical beauty had replaced the value of the soul, people had become so concerned with their own pride that they are afraid of showing love and care. I don’t want to be that person, so maybe I will go and buy the perfect gift, get a cab, and stay in the rain. Even if he does not forgive me I will know that I am the girl who made the grand gesture to earn the trust of the person she had hurt.

Maybe there was a girl that matched Cinderella’s foot, and maybe Snow White could have been food poisoned. These events would have certainly influenced the happy ending. They did not happen, though. A chance was given to the survival of happiness. People really are cynical, and they are scared of exposing their souls, but it’s the few people that try to make a change that matter. Fear is not an excuse, it’s a shelter. People are supposed to get out from there and try to make the happy end happen.